We must ask ourselves why it’s hard to love. Why are we mean? I don’t know about you, but I don’t come to you today with a perspective constructed from a perfect life. I’ve made mistakes and felt the results of my shortcomings. But you know what? I choose to focus on the fact that I have been forgiven. Ladies, if we don’t understand what has been accomplished on our behalf, it’s easy to harbor resentment and nurture grudges. The power of forgiveness is strong, and the consequences of unforgiveness are terrible. You don’t want to hold onto unforgiveness in your life; it will be responsible for unhealthy micromanaging, obsessing over the past, corrupted potential, and unhealthy relationships. Here are four ways to detect unforgiveness in your heart so that you can root it out and experience the full beauty of life and bloom.
- Keeping Score Does Not Keep You in Control
The first sign of thriving unforgiveness is the tendency to keep score. This is when you keep a tally or record of how someone fails to meet your expectations, sometimes triggered by an initial moment of disappointment. Sometimes it’s the people who are the closest to you that hurt you the most. Due to their proximity, you might continue the relationship, all the while secretly taking note of the times that they fail you. This reveals your unwillingness to relinquish control, especially since this record-keeping rarely leads to confrontation. Let go of the scorecard and acknowledge that it’s not your place to dictate what happens to people for what they did to you. Discuss the issue and move on.
- Focusing on Yesterday Corrupts Tomorrow
The second sign of unforgiveness is the need to hold on to your own record or memory of an incident or conversation. Essentially, you believe that only your perception of an event is important to a situation. This prevents you from fully realizing the possibilities and hope in your future. When you choose to dwell on how an event happened, how it made you feel at the time, and why you won’t be okay again, you situate yourself within the past. This is the same as picking at a scab; it disrupts and prevents healing. However, forgiveness and healing are linked. How can you step securely into the future when you’re only concerned about yesterday?
- Complaining Confines You to Others’ Choices
A person holding unforgiveness in their heart tends to complain excessively. You’ll never develop greatness inside of you as long as you focus on excuses and alibis about why what someone did confines you. Forgiveness frees you from other people’s choices. Don’t believe that what they did has such potential to corrupt you. To forgive is to surpass.
- The Green-Eyed Monster is Not Your Friend
Lastly, envy and jealousy indicate that you are holding onto unforgiveness. When you feel resentment or hostility toward a certain individual, you might believe that they cheated you somehow or that you should be a part of what they are experiencing. This bitterness is extremely unhealthy in every kind of relationship, as it can cause paranoia, distrust, and emotional manipulation. You can love fully and completely when these are out of the equation.
Forgiveness is freedom. Forgive family members that let you down with their anger and sensitivity, with their selfishness and fears, with their addictions. Let go of the painful memories and remember the times they were just your family. Forgive people who said they were your friend, but they disappeared or disappointed. Let go of the anger so that you can make room for the new, the fresh, for clarity, and for peace. Additionally, forgive yourself for the selfish choices you made that have hurt yourself and others. Forgive yourself for robbing people of the beauty of who you could have been. By forgiving yourself and others this day, you can become the best version of yourself.
I invite you to bloom and be fresh, bold, and empowered! Save your spot today for Radical Women’s Conference 2024! It’s time to receive your harvest. It’s time to BLOOM! Click below for more information.